Last night I finally had my first cry since being pregnant. Sam & I are going to look for stuff for our Valentine's banquet coming up. So I made sure he didn't have any plans for Saturday so we could spend the day together. So when all of the sudden he said "we'll be back by 4 and I can watch the football games" I got my feelings hurt. And he's like WHAT?? what's wrong?
I don't know, maybe I just want a day for the two of us. He said we should be back by then so what was the problem??? The problem for me was that he was already making plans to do something else. Instead of enjoying our time together. Maybe it's the pastor in him, always trying to think ahead. But for that time, I just wanted a husband dang it!!!
This happens pretty frequently so I shouldn't really be caught off guard but it just hit me the wrong way. Last weekend we decided to use a gift card to go eat. We had a good time, Justus made us laugh the entire time. I thought that maybe we could go rent a movie or something. As soon as we got it the car he said, I think I'm gonna ask the boys to play basketball. OMG, can't you wait to do something with others!!!!!!!
We have had several discussions about this but I can't seem to say it in a way he understands it. I want time with you for myself!!!!!!! Or just familt time with the three of us. So, I cried for a few minutes, sniffled, coughed & eventually could breath again. I hate going to bed like that-we were already there. So I prayed for a few minutes before finally just waiting for sleep to claim me. I didn't sleep to well, so today should be just dandy!
Friday, January 13, 2006
Kaboom!
Posted by native-nc at 10:58 AM
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5 comments:
I am very clear to Chris when I want his time for me- but then I always feel like i'm having to pull teeth for him to enjoy it. I know its not that way- but I let it get to me too. I have told him that it worries me with the baby coming- how he will balance time for Family, Church and the Students. I'm not sure he has a plan yet- but he knows that the church will always be there when he goes back, and that he is not suppose to be "A best friend" to the students, but a LEADER. And most of the times, Chris and I are the only Godly example of a marraige (and soon family) that they see. I remind him of that. So that those guys see him taking time for me and loving me (so they know what to do when the day comes for them!) I also let the guys see me letting Chris stay after to play Halo or basketball or whatever- to show the girls that you have to have BALANCE... but I'm sure I will be different when the baby comes. I will want to hog his time even more- to HELP me... since we don't have family here to help. I hope and pray he is sensitive to that need.
Well did you want a novel? Sorry about that. I guess I just want you to know that I go through it too- being a YOUTH PASTORS wife, is not like being a PASTORS wife...sometimes its like you are just another Student... that he has to make time for. Sad to say. I know.
Our guys need grace in this area, like we need grace with the moody, crying, whining, that we do :-)
Be a planner Tiff- Tell Sam, "I've reneted a movie for us as a FAMILY to watch this Saturday. Once the movie is over- I guess you will want to go play ball with the guys" Don't wait for HIM to suggest what YOU want Suggested! He is an agressive planner, you have to THINK like him!!!!
I agree with Staci, and I think it is a guy problem, not just a pastor thing. Aaron has a hard time spending time with us as a family. I feel like I am pulling teeth too. And the kids are getting older so they notice when "Daddy" isn't playing with them or showing them attention. You do have to be very specific with them, tell them what you want and how long you want it for. I made Aaron spend time with us last nite and he enjoyed it once he started playing, and then the kids benifitted too. It is hard finding the right combination of giving and compromising especially when trying to be good examples to others. I will pray things go easier for you.
Thinking like him...that's a good suggestion. Now if only I knew how to get into that brain of his. Umm. I bet he thinks the same thing about me. "WHAT IN THE WORLD IS SHE THINKING!!!!!!!"
LOL- True, True...
Stackie said it perfectly.
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