Sam's at the church doing a lock-in with the youth kids. I thought about taking Justus up there for a few hours but was to tired. Ha Ha here it is midnight and I am still awake. Guess a few hours woundn't have been too bad after all. Justus just went to sleep at 11:30.
I went with momma to walmart before Sam left for the lock in. On the way there my brother Josh called and they talked to whole way to walmart. It is hard for me to even hear his name sometimes. It makes me very sad that our relationship hasn't been the same since we left Florida & he stayed there.
Since we left Florida he has gotten married. He and his wife were our staff members for our Master's Commission team. It feels like I lost a brother and it's very sad. Whenever we try to talk I can't find any words. I hate it! It makes me cry but I con't know how to get past the feelings that still seem so raw.
Friday, June 24, 2005
Midnight
Posted by native-nc at 11:58 PM
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4 comments:
Do you talk to him at all? Or see him on holidays? Or do you guys really not talk at all?
My mom keeps in touch with him, they talk at least once a week. She keeps me up to date. They came home for christmas, it was very strained for all. By Christmas day we were all used to being around each other. Still it's hard. In my heart I want it to get better but everytime we talk I can't find the words to say. I want to blurt out that he is a liar and betrayed us. But what good would that do? Of course I still love him and that's why it hurts so much.
Man, that's hard! I'll be praying that God not only heals hurts, but opens a door of communication. Have you thought about a letter? You can always write it and throw it away. Sometimes I do that and feel 10 times better, without even sending it. Theraputic writing.
Guess it's a possibility.
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